3 years ago when i made the decision to study here in Sydney, it was one made with much certainty. i was sure that coming to Sydney would be a good thing for me. i'll learn to be independent and grow as a young woman. i knew i would be leaving my family, friends and life back in Singapore, but i never imagined it to be so hard.

2 and a half years passed by quickly and i graduated from university; the purpose of my journey here. but i made the decision earlier this year to stay. it was not an easy one for me. i was really at conflict with myself. i missed Singapore but i didn't want to go back for good. perhaps i feared change again. it took me a while to adapt to Sydney, and now when i can say i'm comfortable here, i have to choose again. and i guess a part of me knew that while i was away, life in Singapore didn't come to a stand still. everyone's life continued on. and i find myself feeling less in sync with the country i grew up in. i'm afraid that if i go back, i'll feel out of place.

life decisions ain't easy. and i know that i've committed myself to living here in Sydney for a little while longer. i just can't give up like this. and no matter what happens, i've gotta be happy for what i have and for what i have achieved. finding yourself is probably the hardest thing to do at times. but i think, sometimes even if you don't manage to find yourself, as long as you're happy with who you are, it's all good.

i don't know what is right or what is wrong for me. but i want to be happy.

xo,
sarah